the davidsonienne •

Yesterday morning, I opened up my Daily Candy email to see this trendy little V-tine’s gift idea (among others)…

Cute keychain, you say!

Yes… it’s functional, it’s precious, it’s a TOILET SOUND BLOCKER! Whaaat?!

At first I thought this darling chunk was actually a piece of high-tech sound-canceling equipment. Which might be cool, right? Think of the usefulness: keep your neighbors from hearing the inane yips of your chihuahua Brutus, avoid the awkward looks from other subway riders who can hear you listening to the Backstreet Boys at full blast, tune out that coworker who blabs ad nauseum on the phone. I suppose that technology is still being tweaked in the labs.

Because, nope. I was wrong. This little dangly makes a toilet flushing sound. Hmm. It also advertises “after all, this little device means you won’t have to flush for real and thus saves water.” Well, let’s just think this through for a minute. If you are shy about the sounds of your natural wastes, doesn’t that mean you should probably let them make their merry way down the tubes? I’m certainly into saving water, but let’s all remember this little ditty:

And just make sure the “toilet” doesn’t “flush” accidentally inside your purse…